Melaque, Mexico.

Melaque, San Patricio and Villa Obregón are the neighbourhoods that make up what people call Melaque.

Melaque is about 200 km south of Puerto Vallarta, and it still maintains a very quaint and not-too-touristy quality. There are no name-brand restaurants, and ATVs, golf carts, horses, motorcycles, bicycles and, of course, some cars are the main modes of transportation.

The beach is long and wide, with beautiful white sand, but the shore is mostly steep and unfortunately not very swimmer-friendly. You can swim, but wave timing is of the essence when entering the water. The western end of the beach is much calmer, but the sand isn’t quite as nice due to the proximity of the El Pedregal River, which flows into the bay.

Where we were staying, the crashing waves created by the steep shoreline literally sounded like bombs going off—to the point that our windows occasionally rattled—and it went on 24 hours a day. However, we did get used to it. What was hard to get used to was the dogs barking all night long.

Packs of stray dogs would bark and bark and bark in some sort of competition to see who could bark the most and the loudest. It was incessant, and then, just as they had barked themselves to death or sleep, the fucking roosters would start. I guess they were waiting for their turn. And it wasn’t at sunrise. No. It would be 3:00 or 4:00 am! I don’t know, but maybe roosters can’t tell the difference between the moon and the sun. I thought they only did their cock-a-doodle-dooing when the sun came up. So much for what we learned in school.

There is a small expat community and a lot of older and greying snowbirds who call this place home for 4–6 months a year. The music scene reflects this to an almost comical level, but I sincerely mean this in a good way.

I don’t know how many times we heard the song “Tennessee Whiskey” and so many other oldies but goodies, played by old hippies with their guitars and others with their karaoke boxes singing the latest tunes—from 1968. They played at local venues, tip can front and centre, and were usually the warm-up acts for the more established local and area bands that would start early in the evening.

We spent a total of about 9 weeks in Melaque, with a short 10-day jaunt to Puerto Vallarta in between.

Our first destination was La Paloma Oceanfront Retreat, located in San Patricio. We spent our first four weeks and our last week there after returning from PV. It has 14 very nice units of varying sizes, a great pool and an excellent continental breakfast included—all located right on the beach. A great place, and we will definitely stay there again.

La Paloma was right beside a very popular bar for the 65-plus crowd, and this is where we had no choice but to listen, over and over again, to the greatest hits from the sixties, with a little seventies thrown in. It is named “The Albatross,” and it served good food, cold beer and reasonably priced tequila. The place would be packed by 4:30 with a sea of grey-haired retirees dancing and having the time of their lives. It was funny but great at the same time, and we hope we will have the same zest for life when we hit the golden 70s, which unfortunately isn’t too far away!

Our second stop, for three weeks, was Sueño del Sol in Villa Obregón—a beautiful, newly renovated/built hotel.

This place was a little more expensive, but the rooms on offer were very nice, and we were able to snag a large one-bedroom unit with a fully equipped kitchen on the ground floor. We could walk out of our unit right beside the pool, steps from the outdoor mini-kitchenette and barbecue. The pool was fantastic and, again, we were right on the beach. The owner, Gord Erickson, is a Canadian from British Columbia, and he turned an old, rundown, abandoned hotel into a really beautiful place.